Am I Truly "Over It"? 7 Signs Your Childhood Trauma Still Controls You

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Am I Truly “Over It”? 7 Signs Your Childhood Trauma Still Controls You

Rahul
June 15, 2025
Self-Discovery & Inner Work
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Hook for the Opening

“You tell yourself you’ve moved on. You’ve analyzed the past, forgiven who you needed to, and vowed not to repeat old patterns. But then—a partner’s comment, a stressful day at work, or a sudden wave of guilt hits. And you realize: Maybe you’re not as ‘over it’ as you thought.”

Introduction

Childhood wounds don’t always show up as tears or dramatic flashbacks. More often, they whisper—through unexplained reactions, self-sabotage, or a lingering sense of “not being enough.”

If these subtle signs feel familiar, your past may still be shaping your present.

7 Signs Your Childhood Trauma Is Still Affecting You

1. You’re Hyper-Independent

Saying “I don’t need anyone” might feel strong, but it’s often armor. If asking for help triggers fear, you may still carry wounds of betrayal or abandonment.

2. Criticism Feels Like a Personal Attack

Do constructive comments leave you defensive or ashamed? This could stem from childhood experiences where your worth felt conditional.

3. You’re a Chronic People-Pleaser

Avoiding conflict, saying “yes” when you mean “no”—these are survival tactics learned in environments where love felt unreliable.

4. Your Relationships Follow the Same Painful Pattern

Drawn to emotionally unavailable partners? Repeating power struggles with authority figures? We unconsciously seek what feels familiar, even when it hurts.

5. You Minimize Your Pain

Phrases like “It wasn’t that bad” or “Others had it worse” might be coping mechanisms—but they keep wounds unhealed.

6. Perfectionism Runs Your Life

If mistakes feel catastrophic, you may still believe you must be flawless to deserve love or acceptance.

7. Your Emotions Feel Overwhelming (or Nonexistent)

Sudden rage, numbness, or emotional shutdowns? Unexpressed childhood feelings often resurface when triggered.

How to Start Healing

Notice the Pattern Without Judgment – “Ah, this feels familiar.”
Get Curious – “Where did I learn this? How did it protect me?”
Try Somatic Techniques – Place a hand on your heart and breathe into tension.

“Healing begins when we ask, ‘What does this part of me need now?’ instead of, ‘Why am I like this?’

If you’re ready to unpack these wounds with trauma-informed support, let’s talk. You don’t have to do it alone.”